Song Parodies: Twilight Special
by Falling.Twilight
Summary: Assured to make you AT LEAST smile! R&R. All lyrics came from my imagination or from the books. Last Updated: Mamma Mia!, by ABBA : Mamma Mia! It's All The Cullen's Fault, by Jacob Black!
1. Come What May

**You KNOW when you're bored and you start imagining crazy things and crazy songs and start laughing to yourself and say 'GOD I have to post this in FanFiction!'? It happens to me often, as you may know already. So go ahead and enjoy a series of Song Parodies: Twilight Special.**

**Our first song is - Come What May, from the movie Moulin Rouge.**

**Black letters is Bella, Italic is Edward, and Black + Italic is both :3**

**And try to make the lyric FIT the song... Cuz some parts I had to crumple all the words together so it would be alright, and it's funny :D**

* * *

**Never knew I could feel like this  
****Like I've never seen a guy before  
****Want to vanish beneath your sheets  
****Everyday I hyperventilate more and more  
****Look into my eyes  
****Can you see them beg  
****Telling you to give me your virginity  
****Alice may become blind,  
****Jacob might die,  
****But I'll want you  
****Until the end of time...**

**Cooome tooo beeeed!  
****Cooome tooo beeeed!  
****With me beside youuu!  
****And we'll have sex all day!**

_Suddenly you seem so different from before  
__Suddenly you seem like you've matured a lot.  
__Suddenly your hormones are harassing me!  
__And you're trying to take my clothes off_

_And there's no marriage too bad  
_**No bed that's too wide  
**_**Accept my terms and we will both be alright!  
**__**Emmett may loose in arm-wrestling  
**__**Jasper may enroll in Greenpeace...  
**__**But I'll want you  
**__**Until the end of time.**_

_******Cooome tooo beeeed!  
****Cooome tooo beeeed!  
****With me beside youuu!  
****And we'll have sex aaall daaaaay!**_

**_

* * *

_Yeah, I omitted the end. It sounded too repetitive ¬¬**


	2. Best Years Of Our Lives!

**This song is not exactly FUNNY but I thought it would be cool to put it up I know all of you have seen Shrek - waits for contradiction - but maybe you don't know this song:**

**"Best Years Of Our Lives" by _Baha Men_**

**I present to you:**

**_Best Scent Of My Life_**

* * *

I get such a thrill when I get in your room  
My heart may be dead but my nose is on you!  
Please tell me baby if you're gonna die  
'Cause when your blood runs out, well, I can't survive

Ohhhh...  
Makes me wanna bite  
Ohhhh...  
It's my new delight!  
Ohhhh...  
My venom fills my fangs  
Ohhhh...  
Best scent of my life!

When we first met I could hardly believe  
That you would survive all this time AND with me  
So pray to the heavens that I will not slip  
Cuz seeing you dead now it's gonna kill me :(

Ohhhh...  
Makes me wanna bite  
Ohhhh...  
It's my new delight!  
Ohhhh...  
My venom fills my fangs  
Ohhhh...  
Best scent of my life!

My world's a better place cause I know you're mine  
And Jasper, her blood is not allowed to touch!  
Come on and say, "Yeah"  
I got a scent here  
Yeah..  
'Cause through the years  
I'll be smelling you all the time!

Ohhhh...  
Makes me wanna bite  
Ohhhh...  
It's my new delight!  
Ohhhh...  
My venom fills my fangs  
Ohhhh...  
Best scent of my life!

See, you always consider me  
Like a vampire, monster  
And treat me  
Like a hot human  
I says why  
I wanna suck all your blood  
It's just that now I love you  
And I just can't  
Cause otherwise I would have!  
Aa-aa, aa-aa, aa-aa  
Get closer to me  
Come on Bellsie!  
Let me smell your knee!  
'Cause all I wanna do is sniff  
Your neck and your body  
All night long

Ohhhh...  
Makes me wanna bite  
Ohhhh...  
It's my new delight!  
Ohhhh...  
My venom fills my fangs  
Ohhhh...  
BEST SCENT OF MY LIFE!

* * *

**Wohoo.**

**NO, I'm NOT forgetting Lost Moments. I'm just - having a hard time with that.**


	3. Spectacular Spectacular

**I really enjoyed writing this, though it was hard and I even took out one part. But I liked it!**

**I present to you, Spectacular Spectacular, from Moulin Rouge!**

**This song is sang by Victoria's army as they're heading to Forks - just picture that.**

* * *

**RILEY**  
Spectacular, Spectacular  
I think it's our lunchtime  
Can't describe this bloody event  
You'll be frozen on the pavement  
We'll grab and bite you in the neck  
You must agree, that's excellent  
And we will leave you dry…

**ALL**  
Sooner or later you will die…

**NEWBORNS**  
So exciting  
We'll run around and drink your blood!  
So delighting  
No one will ever stop us!  
So exciting  
We can even kill Bella!  
So delighting  
Vicky gradually goes nuts!

**RANDOMS**  
-Edward!

-And Alice!

-Jasper!

-and Rosie!

-Carlisle!

-and Emmett's army of gummy bears!

-Their mom!

-Charlie Swan!

**ALL**  
They are all going to die,  
Slowly, they will -

**RANDOM**  
Start to cry!

**ALL**  
Bella Swan is going to be  
Major banquet to our Vicky!

So exciting  
We'll run around and drink your blood!  
So delighting  
No one will ever stop us!  
So exciting  
We can even kill Bella!  
So delighting  
Vicky gradually… goes… nuts!

**VICTORIA  
**Spectacular, Spectacular  
I'm killing people all the time!  
Can't describe what my heart feels  
When someone screams in agony!

**ALL**  
Forks will be alive, with the sound of screaming…

So exciting  
We'll run around and drink your blood!  
So delighting  
No one will ever stop us!  
So exciting  
We can even kill Bella!  
So delighting  
Vicky gradually goes nuts!

**VICTORIA**  
Yes, but what happens in the end?

**RILEY **-coughcough-  
Bella Swan and his Edward  
will be cornered by me and Bree

**BREE  
**And in the end you come along

**RILEY**  
And your thirst is just too strong… -winkwink-

**VICTORIA**  
I'm a little bit hungry  
Inside my dead stomach…

**ALL**  
So exciting  
We'll run around and drink your blood!  
So delighting  
No one will ever stop us!

**RILEY**  
Alice won't be expecting it  
Rose is just a stubborn bitch  
Carlisle at the hospital  
Jasper moaning over his life

**ALL**  
So exciting  
We'll send their soul up to the sky  
So delighting

**RANDOM VAMPIRE**  
And in the end should we cook them in a pie?

-cricketcricket-

**ALL**  
So exciting  
We'll run around and drink your blood!  
So delighting  
No one will ever stop us!

-pose beaming-

**VICTORIA**  
WHAT THE HECK YOU FUCKING BASTARDS WE'RE AN ARMY NOT THE RENT MUSICAL CAST! NOW ATTACK, MY MINIONS!

* * *

**GUMMY BEARS!**


	4. Girlfriend!

**Being bored pwns.**

**Song: Girlfriend, by Avril Lavigne.**

**I bring to you - Best Friend, by Edward Cullen. Mental Picture - Edward with a tight white shirt and a tight pink leather jacket, matching with a pair of pink, tight shorts, white socks and pink Converses. The same scenario Avril had in her video - pink, pink, pink! And pink microfone included!**

* * *

Hey, hey  
You, you  
I don't like your best friend!  
No way, no way  
I think you're not in need of one -  
Hey, hey  
You, you  
I could kill your best friend!

You're so nice I want you mine your scent's delicious  
I think I'd smell you all the time you're so addictive  
Don't you know that me and you were meant to be for life!

Don't pretend I think you know he's real dangerous  
And that – yeah! – I'm the only one who saves you  
I can tell you love me too  
But my love's bigger by far!

He's like, so big and scorching  
I could fry my bacon on him  
I think you should stop seeing him now  
And stop hanging 'round with puppies!

Hey, hey  
You, you  
I don't like your best friend!  
No way, no way  
I think you're not in need of one -  
Hey, hey  
You, you  
I could kill your best friend!

Hey, hey  
You, you  
I can bet he loathes me!  
No way, no way  
No, it's not a secret  
Hey, hey  
You, you  
I wanna kill your best friend!

I can see the way I see the way you look at him  
And I swear I'm not jealous it's more of a mere whim  
I know you think about him all the time again and again!

So come over here and tell me what I need to hear -  
That from your life you'll make Jacob disappear!  
I don't wanna see you around him ever again

He's like, so big and scorching  
I could make my bacon on him  
I think you should stop seeing him now  
And stop hanging 'round with puppies!

Hey, hey  
You, you  
I don't like your best friend!  
No way, no way  
I think you're not in need of one -  
Hey, hey  
You, you  
I could kill your best friend!

Hey, hey  
You, you  
I can bet he loathes me!  
No way, no way  
No, it's not a secret  
Hey, hey  
You, you  
I wanna kill your best friend!

In a second you'll be screaming in agony  
Cuz I will cuz I will make you a vampire  
There's no other, you'll soon be marrying me  
He will hate you, and break your heart in pieces!

Hey, hey  
You, you  
I don't like your best friend!  
No way, no way  
I think you're not in need of one -  
Hey, hey  
You, you  
I could kill your best friend!

Hey, hey  
You, you  
I can bet he loathes me!  
No way, no way  
No, it's not a secret  
Hey, hey  
You, you  
I wanna kill your best friend!

* * *

**PINK!**


	5. Uptown Girl

**FINALLY UPDATED!**

**Sorry, couldn't find any good songs or inspiration **

**So here we have Uptown Girl, by Billy Joel. I present to you, a song sung by none other than Jacob Black - Leech-lover!**

**Listen to the song first, obviously, before reading.**

* * *

Leech-lover!  
She's been living in her vampire world,  
I bet she's never had a we-are-wolves!  
I bet she's never even kissed one too...

I'm gonna try for a leech-lover!  
She's been living in her Cullen world,  
As long as anyone with hot blood can,  
But she ain't looking for a werewolf guy,  
That's what I am :(

And when she comes down  
To La Push to visit Jacob Black,  
And when she hugs me!  
And loves me!  
I know she's the one!

She'll see I can be tough,  
Just because  
I'm in love with a leech-lover!  
You know I've seen her in her vampire world,  
She won't get tired of her bloodsucker joy,  
And all those diamonds from the Cullen boy,  
I have no choice :(

Leech-lover!  
I cannot reach the standards of that girl,  
But maybe someday she will realize,  
She'll see that I can be so good and nice!  
And won't think twice!

And when she's walking  
She's smelling so bad!  
And when she's talking  
She's saying 'Please don't get mad!'

She'll see I can be tough,  
Just because  
I'm in love  
With a leech-lover!  
She's been living in her Cullen world,  
As long as anyone with hot blood can,  
But she ain't looking for a werewolf guy,  
That's what I am :(

Leech-lover!  
She's my leech-lover!  
You know I'm in love...  
With a leech-lover!  
My leech-lover!

* * *

**Catchy tune!**


	6. Rainbows In Forks

**I'm sorry for not uploading, but I had two problems:**

**1) Lack of time,  
****2) Lack of ideas.**

**Ideas come to me randomly - this came up while I was studying Maths - so it's difficult to know when I'll upload again.**

**So I present to you, with the song Radios In Heaven, by Plain White T's : Rainbows In Forks.**

**_It is sung by some guy in Phoenix -possibly a Bella fan- that helped Bells and Renee in their economical situation. Remember she says, in Twilight, they were kind of poor? Well, this guy comes along to the Twilight Special Song Parodies and exaggerated everything, but on the whole, wishes Bella luck in Forks :)_**

* * *

Your time has already come and I don't know why  
The last thing that I had heard  
you were in Phoenix with your mum  
It seems like just yesterday  
I lent money to you  
Begging outside your mama's house  
Well I helped you well, didn't I  
I hope I'm not like you

But do they have rainbow in Forks?  
I hope they do  
'Cause there's a leprechaun with a fountain of gold  
And he's saving it for you  
He's saving it for you, you, you!

You left before you had a chance to pay me back  
But that's the way life usually is  
it bankrupts your finance  
But you can't hold on to resent and you can't use PayPal  
So I'll just be ungrateful for the times that I had with you  
I hope I'm not like you

Do they have rainbows in Forks?  
I hope they do  
'Cause there's a leprechaun with a fountain of gold  
And he's saving it for you  
He's saving it for you  
If they don't have rainbows in Forks  
here's what I'll do  
I can take out my credit card from inside my coat  
And I'll hide it from view  
I'll hide it from you, you, you!

Tell me can you hear me now?  
If you do, then I can try to hide in the crowd  
But I helped you a lot, shouldn't I be proud?  
I hope I'm not like you  
I hope I turn out to be better than you

And do they have rainbows in Forks?  
I hope they do  
'Cause there's a leprechaun with a fountain of gold  
And he's saving it for you  
He's saving it for you  
If they don't have rainbows in Forks  
here's what I'll do  
I can take out my credit card from inside my coat  
And I'll hide it from view  
I'll hide it from you, you, you!

* * *

**I think "Exaggerated" was an understatement. (squeals Edward!)**


	7. Grand Theft Autumn

**Just in mood of making a parody - and this came up.**

**Edward's PoV talking about Jacob in general - and Bella becoming a vampire!**

* * *

Where is your dog tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.  
And surely he won't find out what I know: you were the last human about this part of town.

When you wake up, I'm willing to take my chances on the hope you don't die  
while you're changing and while you're screaming I wrote this for you…

You need him. I could be him...  
But I know you love him more than just a friend  
And that's all that I can say for me :(

Where is your dog tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.  
And surely he won't find out what I know: you're becoming what he loathes right in this part of town.

Someday he will know you're vampire, get up his ass and call you... but for the meantime I'll enjoy your  
brand new prescence and stay up having sex until 4:00 in the afternoon.

You need him. I could be him...

But I know you love him more than just a friend  
And that's all that I can say for me :(

1-2-3-4!

Where is your dog tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.  
Now I know he'll find out what I know: you are now one of mines living in his own town.

-weird shouting-

Where is your dog tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.  
Don't care if he finds out what I know: you are now one of mines living in his own town.

Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.  
Hopefully he won't find out what I know: and then he'll get mad and leave this part of town.

* * *

**Yay for Edward and Pete.**


	8. Buddha's Delight

**_ATTENTION: Being an Argentinean resident, aka I live in fucking South America, my copy of Breaking Dawn will not get to me until September. So I cannot write about anything that happens there. And for the people who say "Oh fun I'm gonna totally spoil her to fuck up her day" because there ARE people like that, let me tell you something: I already know everything that happens. So don't waste your time. I'm a spoiler girl._**

**_Back to the song._**

**If you have seen Music and Lyrics, then you know what this is about.**

**Bella's PoV dancing in a sexy arabic costume - bet Edward would love that...**

**Vampire Delight!**

* * *

I'm starting to believe, boy,  
Legends from the Quiluetes, boy,  
Cause I believe in vampires -  
Boy, do you believe in vampires?

So forget about rejection,  
And let me be your life now,  
We're gonna break the rules now,  
Boy, we're gonna make new rules now...

Each time you put your lips to mine,  
It's like a taste of vampire delight -  
I see the topaz of your eyes,  
You're a taste of Edward's delight -  
Tell me you'll make me like you tonight,  
And I will marry you, because  
I'm not satisfied if I don't get my vampire delight...

Om, Vampy Vampy  
Om, Vampy Vampy!

Like vampire infatuation  
You give me fascination -  
Can you stop my heartbeats?  
I wonder, can you stop my heartbeats?  
I want a combination  
Of vampires and werewolves  
But still want immortality,  
I beg you, gimme immortality...

Each time you put your lips to mine,  
It's like a taste of vampire delight -  
I see the topaz of your eyes,  
You're a taste of Edward's delight -  
Tell me you'll make me like you tonight,  
And I will marry you, because  
I'm not satisfied if I don't get my vampire delight...

Om, Vampy Vampy...

I've got to have my vampire delight...  
Om, Vampy Vampy -  
I've got to have my vampire delight...  
Om, Vampy Vampy -

weird voice La, la, la, la, lalalalalalala...

Each time you put your lips to mine,  
It's like a taste of vampire delight -  
I see the topaz of your eyes,  
You're a taste of Edward's delight -  
Tell me you'll make me like you tonight,  
And I will marry you, because  
I'm not satisfied if I don't get my vampire delight!

deep voice LA, LA, LAA.

* * *

**'It's good to see a young woman exploring religion.'**


	9. Mamma Mia! It's All The Cullen's Fault

**Yeah, second song today. Pretty inspired to write.**

**So I took Mamma Mia by ABBA (Teen version, sorry) and transformed it so it would be something Jacob would TOTALLY SING.**

**So here is Jacob singing to his daddy in New Moon, "Mamma Mia! (It Is All The Cullen's Fault)"**

* * *

I've been cheated by you since my mum gave me birth;  
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end;  
Look at me now! Will I ever stop  
Growing so high?  
It's like my height is out of control...  
There's a fire within my bones...  
Just one fight and I fursplode into a wolf -  
One more fight I'll rip off someone at school...  
Ooh - Ooh!

Mamma mia, here I go again,  
My my, how can I not fursplode?  
Mamma mia, does it show again,  
My my, just how hot I am now?  
Yes, I know vampires are living,  
That they need some good ass-kicking,  
But why why, didn't you tell me before?  
Mamma mia, now I really know,  
My my, it is all the Cullen's fault!

I've been moping around because Bella is sad;  
I try to tell her the truth, but she ends up mad;  
And when she goes, when she slams the door,  
I think she knows that it's actually not my fault...  
But she's busy with her own mope...  
Just one fight and I fursplode into a wolf -  
One more fight I'll rip off someone at school...  
Ooh - Ooh!

Mamma mia, here I go again,  
My my, how can I not fursplode?  
Mamma mia, Bella's mad again,  
My my, damn Sam's Alpha orders!  
Yes, I know we're protectors  
But Bella is my whole world now,  
So why why, didn't you tell me before?  
Mamma mia, now I really know,  
My my, it is all the Cullen's fault!

Mamma mia, here I go again,  
My my, how can I not fursplode?  
Mamma mia, I'm angry again,  
My my, save your ass and run away!  
The more vampires come here,  
The more it looks like Gotham City,  
So why why, didn't you tell me before?  
Mamma mia, now I really know,  
My my, it's time to kick their vampyholes!

* * *

**Gotham City : Batman : Bat : Vampire .**

**Which is a great movie, by the way. Yay for the Joker.**


End file.
